There goes the fear
by Michaela128
Summary: What had she come to? Love songs? She was known for her indie rock band obsessions, not sickly love songs by those artists she could make herself gag for.
1. Chapter 1

Her disgruntled expression lay stiff on her delicate face as Remy switched rapidly through her ipod library. She couldn't seem to take the pained look off her face, trying to take her mind off of him, rummaging through love song after love song. _What had she come to? Love songs? She was known for her indie rock band obsessions, not sickly love songs by those artists she could make herself gag for. _The soft ripples of her duvet covers fell against her soft skin and Remy's ears strained to hear the longing sound of her cell phone ringing. She could already imagine his name on her caller id, and her heart would already pound. She heard a soft knock on her door. She whipped her head around and ordered the person to go away.

"Wait." It was Charlie. Lovely wonderful Charlie. "You haven't talked to anyone in over three days." He whispered softly as he lay beside her on her bed. Remy groaned and ripped her earphones out. She couldn't help but sigh in despair.

"No need to remind me of how pathetic I am. Now, please. Let my brother, someone, show you the door." Regret and anger seethed through Remy's teeth as she spoke her last words. Charlie was her best friend, but she couldn't help but push him away, farther and farther away.

"I know your break up with Asher was bad, but you've got me here. He wasn't so amazing anyway. You deserve better." Charlie's soft blue eyes lowered slightly. He pursed his lips and his muscles quickly softened.

Charlie watched as Remy's brown eyes rose in fury. His jaw instantly tightened. "He wasn't amazing? No. He wasn't. That's certainly why I'm practically not able to live without getting his asshole of a face out of my head. The way he said 'i love you' and the way he first kissed me, it was all too perfect. He wasn't amazing. He was too amazing. And that's the point! I don't deserve any better. I'm not good enough for him, or for anyone after him." Remy sighed deeply and continued, "Now that I've made a complete and total idiot of myself, please please, go." She reached for her ipod, turning on Avril Lavigne's "when you're gone."

Charlie, a shocked and horrified expression on his face, swiftly slipped out of her room, and closed the door behind him.

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

Avril's convincingly stupid lyrics seemed to fit perfectly.


	2. Chapter 2

XXX

Mr. Toft spoke endlessly and droned on and on about the Woman suffragist movement as the period 7 class sat in utter silence.

Kate whipped her head around, and smiled sweetly at Asher. His chocolate brown eyes flickered between Kate and Remy. He thought about something, and quickly flashed his crooked smile to Kate. She giggled and passed him a note.

Remy almost threw up in her seat. It was Friday, last period, and she couldn't help but loathe Kate. And of course Asher. But did she really? She wasn't so sure. She hung her head low as someone promptly passed her a note.

She unfolded it quietly, her eyes checking to see if Mr. Toft had noticed. He just kept talking, so she read. In small scribbly handwriting it read:

_R-_

_Meet me by the back wall. We need to talk._

_-A._

Remy walked breathlessly to the back of her school building, counting each step she took. She couldn't wait to see his face, to be alone with him. As she rounded the corner she saw him lift his face up. His eyes danced with sincerity and innocence. She leaned against the wall and he effortlessly put his hands on either side of her head and looked deep into her eyes.

"What do you want?" Remy asked grudgingly.

"I wanted to talk to you. About this."

"About what? What the hell do you need?"

"I think i need reassurance. Reassurance that..." Asher chose his words carefully and hesitated. Remy let her body slide down the brick wall. He quickly knelt to sit next to her.

"That what?" Remy snapped immediately. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as he let out a small smile.

"That we're not over. That maybe we can be again." He turned quickly to look at her.

"What the fuck Asher? Like really? You broke up with me." Remy let her long red hair fall over her eyes.

"Well, maybe that was for the best. For now, I mean." He bit his lip in disapproval at his choosing of words. "I want to know that we can be together again. In the near future."

"How is that even possible? We always fight." Remy responded.

"We never fight."

"Yes we do." Remy sneered.

"No we don't." Asher stood up and started pacing.

"Yes."

"Definitely not."

"We're fighting right now about fighting." Remy looked up and then lowered her gaze.

"Yeah, it's going to be hard. But I'm willing to get past that."

"It's not that simple." She looked past his head and said, "Can i go now?"

"Yeah."

XXX

Remy stood up and walked over to her skateboard. She hopped on it, and how, she doesn't know, but she managed to get home in less than 10 minutes. When she reached her doorstep, she sighed, thoughts immediately churning in her head. Climbing the stairs, and finally reaching her room, Remy pulled out her sidekick.

Outbox

5:02 PM

BEE CELL:

Meet me at 87. ASAP.

-R.

She slid her phone shut and hopped over to her desk. "87" was her elementary school park, which had now become a regular spot to hang out. Now that she had passed her somewhat "depressed mode," she was ready to talk to Bridget, which she often called Bee, and maybe Charlie. Considering it was Friday, and she didn't need to do homework, she grabbed her leather jacket, and ran out the door, making sure to grab her skateboard. Her red hair flew delicately as she reached 87. She could already see Bridget's blonde waves flying over her enviable face as she leaned over the third book in the Twilight series, Eclipse. Her green eyes rapidly scanned the pages, before she looked up to see Remy speeding towards her.

"Hey!" Bridget called expectantly. She shoved her book into her brown long string bag, and ran over to embrace Remy in a Miley-esque hug.

"Hi, there." Remy responded softly.

After Remy had explained the details about her break-up and any past events from the last five days, and Bridget had comforted her, Bridget stood up.

"Revenge plan!" She yelled eagerly. She cart-wheeled away from Remy. Bridget, starting at age 4, had spent the last eleven years of her life in cheerleading. As she approached from her cartwheel expertise, Remy's expression turned soft.

"No way." Remy answered and laughed loudly. "I'm not a grudge person."

"So? He deserves it! And he knows you're the best he can get! Ever!" She wrapped her long waves into a high pony and had just received her usual round of whistles from the male species. It wasn't like she tried; she was just perfect and the ideal girl. She shrugged this theory off, and acted like she didn't notice this special attention.

"Whatever." Was all Remy could mumble before she heard Bridget's phone start to buzz. Bridget's face turned bright red as she apologized and picked up her phone quietly. Her green eyes lit up when she heard the sound of her boyfriend's voice, Emmett. Remy watched her in complete awe. She didn't move until she saw Bridget standing in front of her.

"Bee! God, you scared me." Remy shrieked, apparently startled. Bridget shook her head in amusement.

"Rems. You were always a little bit freaky." She laughed almost as if on cue, and took a step back lightly. "Look, I gotta jet, you know me, but text me later?" Her eyes twinkled in anticipation.

"Sure, sure." Remy responded nonchalantly.


	3. Chapter 3

XXX

Asher couldn't concentrate on his homework, all he could think about was Remy and the pained look forming on her face when he talked to her. He immediately tossed his paper onto his desk, under the piles and piles of notes from Kate. He heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." He called rather slowly. His mom peered in and flashed a pearly white smile that matched the pearls around her neck.

"Ashie, family dinner at the Benedict! Wear something appropriate, young man." She gushed over her 15-year-old son as she explained the horrific events of his Friday night. He slumped over to his closet and pulled out his favorite jeans, a flannel shirt, and grabbed his sambas. He ran down the stairs to find his picture perfect family waiting downstairs…including Bridget's family. His mom waited expectantly while his father and her father, Henry, stood their expressionless. His little sister stood there, texting, and Bridget waited, looking beautiful, with absolutely no interest at all in him. He slowly reached the bottom of the stairs. He held his hand out for Bridget's dad, Henry, and went in to kiss Bridget on the cheek but she turned her head away.

"Don't touch me." She hissed quietly. She grabbed her purse and walked rapidly out of his house. Bridget's mom died when she was seven, and she was an only child, so it was just her and Henry these days. Asher's breathing was uneven as he caught up with her.

"What's wrong?" He grabbed her small arm and tugged. She whipped her head around, her face fixed into a sneer.

She laughed sarcastically and said, "Absolutely nothing. You're just a dick."

"What'd I do?" Asher whimpered like a puppy.

"You hurt my best friend. For no reason." Bridget responded lightly.

"Aw come on, I still like her. But things are complicated. We don't get along. She made that clear." Bridget turned, snickered, and silently popped buds into her ears. She smiled mockingly, and turned on Chris Brown's "Kiss kiss." Asher groaned in misery, and trudged along behind her. Once they reached the high-class restaurant their parents had reservations for, Asher sighed and ripped a bud out of Bridget's ear. "Listen to me."

She exhaled and turned to face Asher. "What?" She snapped.

"Finally." He rubbed his eyes as she tapped her foot impatiently. Before he could open his mouth to speak, a brunette waitress arrived at the table.

"What can I get you?" She flashed a perfect "I have to smile or else I get fired" smile and took out a pad and pen. She gestured towards Casey, Asher's 12 year-old sister.

"I'll get the Caesar salad with the fresh cut green beans." Casey answered politely. She closed her menu and handed it to the waitress. Bridget felt woozy, so she excused herself to go the bathroom. Once in there, she washed her face twice and called Emmett.

"Hey." He said as he picked up his ringing phone. Bridget just groaned loudly into the phone. "What's wrong?"

"This stupid dinner is so stupid and boring." She sighed dramatically into the receiver. "I can't stand to look at Asher any longer."

"Oh, is that the douche bag?" He asked calmly. Emmett always managed to stay calm and somewhat polite, instead of making accusations.

"Yes."

"Look, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning, and we can go to the lake outside Fairgreen park." He suggested lightly. His enormous figure did not match his calm and soothing voice, even though his voice often boomed with laughter.

"Sure thing. Call you later." Bridget hung up the phone, instantly comforted by his voice. She pushed the door back into her definition of hell. Back in her seat, she realized that the waitress was asking her what she wanted.

"Uhm. I'll have the steak with the oven potatoes?" She said, but it came out as more of a question.

"Of course, doll." The waitress' booming southern accent pinched Bridget's ear. Asher tapped her thigh under the table.

"What?" She retorted. Her fingers lightly grazed the hem of her flowy dress and she grabbed the bottom of her long chain necklace, sticking the turquoise feather in her mouth.

"I still like Remy, I always will. But this isn't the best time. We always fight and we don't get along either. She needs to get over the fact that maybe we can't be together right now." He answered truthfully. He scanned her face for a reaction.

"Asher. Stop it. Do what you want, not what other people want. Stop thinking about Remy, about your parents, about Kate." She said Kate's name icily. "Just what you want."

His face instantly slumped. He then responded, "I don't know what I want."

"Whatever." Bridget wasn't into the whole lovey dovey thing, she could hardly understand how Emmett liked her personality. She was so plain, she thought, while everyone else thought she was so great. She leaned back in her chair and exhaled.

"I'll try to move on. Maybe she should to." And with that Asher turned to face the table, announcing the end of their conversation. His eyebrows were fixed into a clearly frustrated expression and he crossed his arms over his chest. Casey watched him with an amused look on her face and giggled every time he shot a glare at her. Rebecca, his lawyer of a mom, sat still, chatting away with Henry while Asher's dad, Ed, slumped into his seat.

"Oh shush." Bridget managed to say quietly. "No one needs to hear how pathetically annoying your reaction is to your break up." She smothered him with her maturity and he opened his mouth to speak but eventually closed it before sound came out.

XXX

On the car ride home, Rebecca turned to face her son. "Ashie, what was that? Bridget's a beautiful girl, you should have made a move on her." She winked and excitedly turned to Casey. "Don't'cha think?" Asher squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

Casey grinned and responded, "Yes, he should have. I can see he really likes her." She snickered into her palm as Asher frowned.

"No. She's just a friend." Asher said fiercely.

"Sure thing son, but it could be more than that." His father spoke loudly, keeping his gaze ahead of him. "We need to look at your future."

XXX

"CAS!" He shrieked like no one thought he could. "CASEY SARAH OSMENT." She appeared at his door, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Yes?" She asked innocently.

"Did you have to lead them on? You know I don't like Bridget! Especially since she's my ex's best friend. Off limits!"

"But she's hot." Her face contorted into a grin.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean yes, but no!" He stumbled across his words as he paced the room in fury. His somewhat cheerful face turned miserable.

"Sure." She said after a few minutes. She laughed as she exited his soccer inspired room. He groaned and collapsed onto his bed. He had to think about things, and the weekend was perfect for it. Remy, all brown haired, brown-eyed parts of her, was everything he could imagine. They'd hooked up billions of times, and he'd liked it every single time. They'd been through everything. But now they were over and he needed to accept that. He reached for his laptop and logged into facebook.

Asher Osment.

**1 new notification: Kate Schwimmer wrote on your wall.**

_Hey babe, missed you today. Why weren't you playing soccer with the rest of the guys at 87? Anyways, it's a long weekend, three days, we should go see a movie. _

_Xxxoooxxxxoooxxxooo 333333!!!!!_

_Kate. : ) !!!!!!!!_

He grimaced at the amount of exclamation points, hearts, and kisses she added to the end of her paragraph. If that were Remy, she would have written:

_Hey you,_

_Where were you today? I was counting on you to lose at our thumb wrestling competition. Anyways, SHOPAHOLIC is out in theaters, the gayest movie in time, lets go see it and make fun of it the whole way through. _

_Rems._

He sighed. He missed the way she was so casual and nonchalant about the way she talked to him. Like as if they were particularly good friends. She could be his girlfriend, aka they hooked up during the movie, but she could also be his best guy friend, aka going skateboarding or playing extreme video games.

**Asher Osment wrote on Kate Schwimmer's wall. **

_Yeahh. I was at a family dinner. Sorry. Nah, I'm kinda busy. I'll text you, I guess._

_-Asher._

He closed his laptop and set it lightly on his desk. _Now, as for that homework…_


	4. Chapter 4

XXX

Remy reached inside her pocket and felt for her cell phone. Her nails dug into he indents of her navy blue sidekick.

Outbox

10:33 pm

CHARLIE CELL:

Hey. Wanna talk?

She waited for her phone to buzz.

Inbox

10:34 pm

CHARLIE CELL:

Yeah. I'll be over in 5.

Charlie lived three houses away, and usually came over to her house. He was always welcome by her parents so he sometimes slept over. Remy carefully looked outside her window to see Charlie walking abnormally fast across her lawn. She kept staring out her window until she couldn't see him anymore. The doorbell rang and shook her out of her stance. She perched herself on her bed and waited patiently for him.

"REMS!" He called loudly, not caring for her sleeping brother. He grabbed her and held her tight. "You ready to forgive me?"

"How 'bout you try forgiving me?" Remy asked quietly.

"Of course." Charlie smiled at her, the smile Remy had missed terribly over the last few days. "Tell me everything." His shaggy blonde hair fell over his eyes. She told him the whole story, including their "talk" after school. He laughed every now and then, and his eyes also rolled during the part about their "talk."

"I'm super duper glad you told me, Rems." His eyes twinkled quietly.

"Sleepover." She almost ordered him. "Please?" He chuckled and nodded.

"Definitely."

After Remy brushed her teeth, washed her face, and had changed into her pj's, she walked into her room to see Charlie perched on the side of her bed, waiting expectantly. She smiled slightly and then slid into bed. He slid in next to her and murmured, "G'nite." Remy slowly grinned as her eyes closed shut.

XXX

Bridget smiled slyly as she pushed Emmett onto the bed. She slowly climbed onto him as he chuckled loudly and brought her into a deep kiss. Bridget wrapped her hands around his neck and then felt her phone vibrate. She pulled away and whispered, "Sorry, one sec."

"Hello?" Bridget ran her hands through her long hair and sighed.

"Hey, it's Asher."

"Hi, did you need something?" She smiled at Emmett, who was still waiting on the bed.

"Yeah, I was wondering if we could talk, you know, about Remy. Please?"

Bridget's jaw clenched and she breathed deeply.

"When and where?"

"My house. Tonight at 8?"

"Cool." Bridget instantly shut the phone and crawled back over to Emmett. "I'm not really in the mood anymore, can we just lay here?"

Emmett groaned loudly but wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. After a while of laying there, Emmett kissed her cheek softly, and slipped out from under her strong grip, and closed her bedroom door quietly.

XXX

"You made it." Asher's eyes lit up as he saw Bridget enter his room wearing her usual casual getup of jeans and a sports t-shirt.

"Yeah, so what's wrong?" She sat down on the bed and turned to him.

"I don't know what to do. I mean, I like her, but I don't know if we'll work together."

"Maybe you should talk to her about it." Bridget's eyes scanned the room and fell on Asher's new electric guitar.

"SICK!" Bridget shrieked, "Can I see it?" Asher nodded and she grabbed it and headed back to the bed. "Play for me?"

She quietly laid down as he played the opening chords for "Stairway to Heaven." She closed her eyes slowly, feeling completely at rest. Asher smiled at her longingly and he eventually laid down too.

"I'm so tired." Bridget declared. She opened her eyes and stared at Asher's brown ones. Asher reached over and stroked her cheek, surprisingly different from Emmett's muscley touch.

Without even thinking, he leaned forward, both of their lips touching, and her body was now pulled on top of his.


	5. Chapter 5

XXX

Bridget looked down at her endlessly ringing phone. The caller id kept screaming REMY! _Call Ignored. 4 missed calls from Remy CELL._

**1 incoming text message:**

Inbox:

11:03 am

Remy CELL:

Boo you whore, pick up your phone.

-R

Bridget's eyes stinged with big, salty tears. She wiped her eyes quickly and grabbed her long chain purse, heading out the door to get away from it all.

"Wait up!" Asher grabbed Bridget's armed and turned her around. "Where are you going?"

"Look Asher, Remy's my best friend and you're her boyfriend, and she loves you. That's the way things were meant to be."

"But… we broke up."

"Not technically." Bridget turned around and started walking along the cement sidewalk. She shook her head slowly as she tightly wrapped her coat around her shivering body. She couldn't talk to anyone, not Remy, not Emmett. She walked along the sidewalk for what seemed like hours, every few minutes, her phone vibrating in the background of the now rainy road in front of her. It was a road with endless possibilities, yet she had no interest in any of them. She wanted to take everything back. She pulled a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear and sighed deeply, her navy eyes filling with tears. Opening her phone, she read:

**7 missed calls from Emmett. 2 missed calls from Remy. 4 unread text messages.**

Inbox:

12:22 am

Remy CELL:

Where the fuck are you? I'm worried.

-R

12:34 pm

Emmett CELL:

Call me, please. I need to know where you are.

12:41 pm

Remy CELL:

Call me right now. I don't know what happened, but whatever it is, you can talk to me.

-R

12:53 pm

Remy CELL:

Bridget. What the fuck?

-R

Bridget just stared at the small screen and a single tear dropped on the now blurry display. What could she do? She couldn't tell them what happened. She couldn't tell them anything. All she could do was push them farther and farther away.

XXX

Remy paced her room back and forth endlessly. She sat down in front of her mirror and stared at her reflection. She pulled back the two front strands of her hair, and stared blankly into the mirror. She quickly let go and grabbed her blush, bringing her hand up to her face. She sighed, and put the brush back down.

"Remy, dear, your father and I are going out to the Annual Gala Event in New York City, would you mind taking care of your brother for us?" Her mother's botoxed smile barely remained for a few seconds before she said, "No exceptions." And with that, she grabbed the white doorknob with her manicured fingers and shut it behind her.

"Hello, sis." Remy's little brother, Matt, slyly said and raised an eyebrow. Remy stood up from her chair and laughed quietly.

"Look, Matt. I have to find Bridget. I'm the boss right now, and you are going to stay out of trouble. Ok?" She tousled his hair sweetly and smiled. "See ya!" She grabbed her skateboard and ran down the carpeted stairs and out the door, leaving a trouble-making 11 year old behind.

The breeze against her face was invigorating and she smiled slightly, keeping her eyes determined. She was barely passing by the park when she saw a small blonde figure sitting on a bench. It was drizzling out now and her view was foggy and unclear. A huge sun hat covered the girls face and Remy wasn't sure if it was Bridget, until she saw the huge Eclipse book in her tiny fragile hands.

"Bridget!" She yelled as she ran towards her. The girl jumped and when she saw Remy, quickly looked down.

"Hey." Bridget stood up and rubbed her arm. "Um, what's up?"

"What's up? What's up?" She screamed and then quickly lowered her voice.

"Yeah..."

"Well, let's see. Where the fuck have you been? Tell me, right now. Everything." Remy folded her arms over her chest and stared straight into Bridget's navy eyes.

"I...I don't know how to be your friend after what I did." Her lips quivered as she spoke and her mind raced with memories.

"What did you do?" Remy asked slowly. "Sparing me the details..."

"I hooked up with Asher." Remy took a small step back and raised her hand to her spinning head. The raindrops suddenly felt like rocks and she heard each one hit the ground with a thump. Pictures rapidly revolved around her head and she tried to make sense of Bridget's pleading face in front of her. She took another step back and raised one finger. Bridget lifted her hand to Remy's arm, "I'm so sor-"

"No. Stay away from me." Remy replied, one finger still up, and yanked Bridget's small hand from her arm.

"Remy, wait-" Bridget started carefully, tears filling her eyes.

"No. How could you do that to me?" Remy's face trembled as she looked at Bridget, "You bitch." And with that, she spun around and walked far away from the bench, from Bridget, from reality and from the ghastly, unforgiving truth.


End file.
